School, Prehistory, Humor 

About four days ago, a plane landed in America with a man who claimed to be 2000 years old. Today, that man is visiting a school just like yours to tell the children of the world what it's like to be 2000 years old. Here are some of the things you will learn: What did the 2000 Year Old Man use for transportation? FEAR. You see, an animal would growl at you, and you would go two miles a minute! What language did the 2000 Year Old Man speak? Rock. Basic rock. Like, "Hey, don't throw that rock at me! Put that rock away!" What food did the 2000 Year Old Man eat Only what was natural and organic. Clouds, stars, rocks. Big things and small things. But we had to be careful of the red ants because a few live ones on your tongue will eat your tongue before you eat them. Comic geniuses Mel Brooks and Carl Reiner have teamed up once again to bring their beloved 2000 Year Old Man to school. This is one show-and-tell exhibit you're never going to forget! - from Amzon